Wouldn’t it be awesome to have everything you want? You surely could be dynamic if you had complete control of your life… The Rolling Stones said it best though:
“You can’t always get what you want,
but if you try sometimes, you just might find,
you get what you need.”
There is a balance in this concept. You should, of course, go for what you want, but there has to be grace involved. In other words, the trick is to find a balance between going for what you want (or what you think you want) and creating the space for it to manifest.
There may be a plethora of things you want. Focus on one thing and then check-in with these steps:
1. Identify the Purpose
If you’re craving a certain job, what is your intention for doing this job? Are you contributing to yourself or to your community? Why do you want what you want?
In order for the universe, society, God, etc. to support such a desire, there must be an authentic and pure purpose. There can be selfish reasons, but you must give the world reasons to support your manifestations.
2. Create the Circumstances
If you want to volunteer in Asia, have you set up circumstances to create it? Have you researched programs, looked at flights, evaluated funding?
You can’t get from point A to point Z without any work. You have to create the circumstances to make it happen!
This is where a type-A personality comes in handy. If this is difficult for you, ask for help. Yes, it can be overwhelming, so make a schedule: “By next week, I’ll talk to this person”; “By next month, I’ll find five programs I’m interested in,” etc.
For anyone who has a controlling bone in their body, this is the most difficult step. If you try to force things to happen, they don’t, but when you release the intensity, you create space for growth.
About five years ago, I began a word doc titled “Space and Grace” where I compile quotes, lessons, links for articles, etc. At the time, I was going through a brutal break-up and I was convinced that what I wanted was to get back together. Instead of the usual reach-out-and-control-him approach, I took the space-and-grace approach, i.e. no contact. Yet, my intention for giving us space was not to control him. My intention was to release control.
The concept of “space and grace” is to trust. When I embodied the idea of space, I was saying that I trust the universe to handle this situation. I trust that this will work out as it should and I trust that I will be OK in the interim. By trusting, you achieve an internal strength that communicates grace externally.
How much more beautiful is your purpose when it is inspired by grace instead of intensity?
In the end, my ex indeed came back. I got exactly what I wanted. Unfortunately, with the space, I discovered that he was not what I needed.
The balance: Gracefully identify what you want and create the circumstances to get it.