Tag Archives: detachment

get your glow on

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ibibleverses-matthew-5-14-follow-us-atWho doesn’t want a radiant glow? Male or female, you know this je ne sais quoi is what attracts miracles.

On a Southwest flight back to Chicago, I happily took the first row window seat, put my headphones in, and started a playlist for that evening’s yoga class. A glowing woman took the aisle seat and then a very tall gentleman sat in the middle. The woman kindly switched seats with the man to accommodate his long legs. This small gesture was no accident.

With my headphones still on, I sensed the glow. I was now sitting next to Beverly, author and motivational speaker, more importantly, an earthly goddess. I proceeded to connect with the Beverly until we parted ways. Our light created fireworks–we felt inspired and everyone around us felt it. (The gentleman said the seat change was a crucial event, not only to accommodate his legs.)

Alone, your light exposes a lot of darkness. Brought together with ignited beings, magic happens.

what is this “glow”?

When you glow it is more than just a make-up for the outer appearance. It’s an internal vibration that radiates out. When you glow you don’t have to smile to communicate joy. Your energy communicates radiance. You’re alive. Your vitality is almost palpable.

When you glow you have a feeling of detachment, feeling so connected to yourself that nothing can penetrate that energy. Detachment is not apathy, carelessness, or passivity–quite the opposite actually. Detachment is breathing with the flow, not being married to outcomes, feeling invested in life without expectations.

When you’re truly plugged-in, toxic thoughts, people, and past experiences can’t stay alive in the glow. The light is powerful enough to illuminate all that comes into its periphery.

Don't ask what the world needsit’s “what you be” 

Ask not “What do I do to get the glow?,” ask “What do I be?”

Beverly and I attracted each other, not by doing anything, but profoundly being.

When Beverly and I discussed life coaching and teaching yoga, I explained what I do: the sequencing, language, questions, etc. She stopped me–”Sweetheart, it’s not about what you do, it’s about what you be.”

In other words, people aren’t attracted to me and my work for the things I do. People are attracted because of the gestalt–the whole–the energy.

why must you glow?

Simply, because your life and the lives around you depend on it. The world, the market, your cat need you to be remarkable. You have a unique light that that we need.

Let’s get glowing!

xo, S

 

does something feel off?

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Twice a year, New Yorkers are treated to a sunset that aligns with Manhattan’s street grid.

Have you ever used the expression, “Something feels off”? If so, you have an instinct of alignment.

When you’re not in alignment, it feels like waves are crashing against you. You’re trying to survive from wave to wave. When you’re in alignment, everything make sense. You’re riding a wave of clarity.

Perhaps this elusive enlightenment thing means being aligned…

“One way to view enlightenment is as a radical shift in perspective. Nothing outside of you has changed: you have changed. And yet, paradoxically, you have not changed, but rather have become what you already are. You have just removed the smoke screen of ignorance so that what always had been present has become apparent.” ~Judith Lasater

A radical shift in perspective doesn’t come from a re-creating of the self, it comes from a re-aligning of the self. You can’t see clearly if the mind is fogged with thoughts and the body is deformed. Alignment is a re-positioning of the physical and internal structure.

physical alignment

At work, I often sit for 10-12 hours a day. For awhile, I was exercising hard, punishing myself for not moving enough. In these punishing workouts, my ribs would jut out, my hips would tighten, and my neck and shoulders would take the pain. Recently, a couple of yoga geniuses, Sara Strother and Diana Oppenheim, staged what I call an alignment intervention. Yes, I am a yoga instructor and I can adjust misalignments in others, but adjusting myself is a whole different ballgame.

Just-as-your-car-runs-more-smoothly-and-requires-less-energy-to-go-faster-and-farther-when-the-wheels-are-in-perfect-alignment,-you-perform-better-when-your-thoughts,-feelings,-emotions,-goals,-and-values-are-in-balance.

We get so stuck in habits–brushing teeth with the same hand, wearing a bag over the same shoulder, gripping a golf club the same way–an imbalance is formed without even noticing. Insomnia, aches and pains, digestive issues are examples of signals that something is off.

I knew that something was off. Since my alignment intervention, I feel different. I’m taller. My shoulders are not in pain. I literally can see better.

If you know something is off, seek another perspective. Perhaps yoga is not how you find alignment. Body workers, massage therapists, and chiropractors can change how you live in your body. So too, a healthy diet with less caffeine and alcohol can help remove “the smoke screen of ignorance”– bringing you back to the you that was always there.

internal alignment

Internal alignment is a shift in perspective. Merriam-Webster defines “perspective” as “the interrelation in which a subject or its parts are mentally viewed.” If you’re internally misaligned, the interrelation of yourself and the world is skewed. This could manifest as excessive sensitivity, being hopeless, or stress and anxiety.

Can you detach from your world to get a better view of this interrelationship? If you answered “no,” then maybe your internal alignment is off and you can’t get perspective.

“…’Detachment’ beckons you to cultivate the willingness to surrender as you go along, right here and now, but not because you despair or are uninterested. On the contrary, detachment requires total engagement. When you allow yourself to see thing as they really are, then–and only then–can you love yourself and others without hidden expectations. Detachment is the greatest act of love.” ~Judith Lasater

Life coaches, therapists, and friends can assist you in stepping back– a step back from your job, your family, and your relationships. Paradoxically, when you detach internally, you’re re-aligning your interrelationship to the external world.

waves of alignment

Waves, like alignment, are in flux. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as the eternal ocean wave. You catch a wave every once in awhile, then ride it until it crashes. Similarly, life is constantly changing. You couldn’t possibly hold a form and always be in alignment. Your alignment must flow with the changing world. Periodically, something will feel off. This isn’t a bad thing–its a signal to re-align within your dynamic life.

shedding skin to reach your fullest potential

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Every seven years, you shed your skin. In other words, in this minute, you are entirely different then you were seven years ago.

It makes sense when you think that the cellular make up of the body is formed by the nutrients and energy taken in (this is why non-processed, organic food is so essential!), and the cells reform based on physical, spiritual, and mental practices. No matter what, in seven years’ time, physical, spiritual, and mental practices have reformed you entirely.

However, how you CHOOSE to let the reformation occur is what determines your potential. You can either reform or transform. By not resisting change and embracing non-attachment, you can reach your FULLEST potential.

I read this inspiring story about a woman who lived a romantic life of a rich twenty-something in New York City. She was an online magazine editor, making tons of money, partying every night, and surviving on champagne and late-night lean cuisines. Then she got cancer. The doctors wanted to amputate a limb to remove the cancer, but instead she tried Gerson Therapy, a strict and rigorous regime of hourly juicing, round-the-clock coffee enemas, a basic vegan diet, and a program of cancer-fighting supplements. She used this awful experience with cancer to become a writer, holistic health coach, and the creator of the health and wellness website, The Wellness Warrior.

In her words, “Before cancer became part of my daily vocabulary, my life lacked meaning. It was fun, and I thought I was living to my full potential, but it wasn’t until all of the superficial trimmings were forced to take a back seat that I realized what I was really capable of creating for myself.”

This is an extreme example of shedding skin. Nevertheless, she CHOSE to detach from her party life to recreate herself. She could have gone the Western medicine route (Dad, I know this is not always a bad thing!). She chose instead the alternative lifestyle, which led her into her fullest potential.

Sometimes these giant catalysts are the most effective, but even without them, we can shed skin to reach our core selves. Shedding skin can include changing your diet, trying different types of exercise, and even moving on from friends and romantic partners that no longer encourage your physical, spiritual, and mental growth. In essence, the practice of detachment and shedding skin frequently can free us from this illusion that things will not change.

When I say “practice detachment,” I don’t mean practice passivity, indifference, or carelessness. I mean for you to live actively, passionately, and carefully while infusing life with the skill of grace. I have spoken about grace here, understanding force and gripping in the body, and I have spoken about detachment here, coming to terms with attaching and detaching as part of growth. It is the same idea. We’re just exploring the nuances of experiencing change, practicing grace, and knowing that growth is a process–never a perfection.

The key is that YOU ARE DYNAMIC and EVER-CHANGING. Sorry–there is not a magical stopping place of your fullest potential. The difficulty is maintaining your alignment when you’re constantly changing. For instance, how do you fall in love and remain detached? How do you start a business without becoming wrapped up in the outcome? Or how can you have children without constantly caring about their well-being?

Simply, your fullest potential has to change with your shedding skin…

“Detachment is rarely something we achieve once and for all. It’s a moment-by-moment, day-by-day process of accepting reality as it presents itself, doing our best to align our actions with what we think is right, and surrendering the outcome.” -Sally Kempton

Use this moment as a chance to begin again. Look around and welcome change with grace and integrity. If someone, something, or some thinking is not encouraging your fullest potential, shed the skin. Look forward and surrender to change with THE LOVE, GRACE, AND INTEGRITY you’re capable of creating for yourself.