[As always, gluten-free, dairy-free, and refined-sugar-free!]
A friend approached me last week asking for advice on relationships, eating, and her overall quality of life. I told her that once she loves herself in abundance, those issues will fall away. Her response: “Isn’t loving myself that much selfish?”
Our western, modern culture trains us with a paradox of individualism juxtaposed with selflessness. In other words, we are taught the American dream, fighting our way to individual success, yet we’re chastised along the way for being selfish.
This is the battle of ego–”You’re not good enough” vs. “You’re focusing too much on yourself.” Notably, ego and arrogance isn’t just about being full of yourself. It also refers to self-hate. You hate yourself for not being this perfect image, but you won’t allow yourself to indulge in the means to discover your perfection.
Here’s a better question: why do you deserve your love? My mentor, life coach, and friend, Richard Butler, signs everything he writes with the answer:
That’s it. You matter. You deserve happiness. You deserve indulgence. You deserve love. You can’t blame anyone else for not giving you those things when you can’t give them to yourself. When you live from a place of self-love, you can give from abundance and not from depletion. Suddenly, you are way more selfless by being selfish.
This weekend’s menu combines foods that embody this type of love… a creamy, sweet-and-salty soup AND chocolate cake. Yes, chocolate cake.
- 1 tablespoon canola oil
- 3 medium onions diced, about 3 cups
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 6 cups vegetable broth
- 2 pounds sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1 to 2-inch chunks
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 13-ounce can “lite” coconut milk
- ¾ cup unsalted roasted peanuts
- 3 tablespoons lime juice
- Chopped cilantro, chopped peanuts, and chili sauce or Sriracha for garnish
- Heat oil in a large heavy-bottomed soup pot or Dutch oven over medium heat. Add onion and garlic and cook, stirring often until the onion is starting to soften and brown, 5 to 6 minutes. Add celery, broth, sweet potato and salt, increase heat to high, cover and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to maintain a simmer and cook, removing lid to stir occasionally, until the potatoes are very soft and fall apart when tested with a fork or tongs, about 15 minutes.
- Puree about half of the soup in a blender in two batches and add back to the pot. Puree the coconut milk and peanuts in a blender until smooth, about 1 minute. Stir the coconut mixture and the lime juice into the soup. Gently stir over low heat to warm through. Do not boil. Serve garnished with cilantro, chopped peanuts and Sriracha to taste. [Try over quinoa or brown rice for a loving, complete meal.]
[adapted from healthyseasonalrecipes.com]
do you love yourself enough to allow this cake indulgence?
Granted, without flour, sugar, or dairy, this chocolate cake isn’t so rich and decadent. It is delicious and nourishing! When you give yourself permission to indulge–out of love–a piece or two will satisfy that craving.
- 2 cups fresh medjool dates, pitted
- 1 cup raw almonds or hazelnuts, soaked
- 1 bar 80% dark chocolate, coarsely chopped
- 6 organic eggs
- 1 lemon or orange, juice and zest
- 1 tsp vanilla extract or ground vanilla
- 3 tbsp unsweetened cacao powder
- 4 tbsp extra virgin coconut oil, melted
- 1 handful fresh berries or thawed frozen
- Set the oven at 340F. Spray spring form pan with oil or cover cake pan with wax paper.
- Mix the dates and nuts in a blender and place the mixture in a large bowl. Add the rest of the ingredients an stir around with a large spoon for about a minute. Pour the batter in a cake tin.
- Bake for 40-50 minutes. Serve with love and berries.
[adapted from greenkitchenstories.com]
You’re not selfish for loving yourself. You deserve your love.