This week in Insightful Dynamics, I introduce Kristen. I have known Kristen literally my entire life (our mothers were pregnant together) and watched her grow into a phenomenal person. Imagine an independent, healthy person, building an exciting career in New York City, then moving to Paris with her new husband. What happens to this dynamic life in a foreign land? Well, with intelligence and grace, Kristen adapted and built The Kale Project. Kristen and The Kale Project have been featured in Glamour France, The Huffington Post, and numerous blogs. As she has done all my life, Kristen inspires with her creativity and love. 

I never imagined myself as someone who would be asked to write about “dynamic living,” as I normally feel like my life is spinning out of control. Not in some Prozac Nation kind of way but because since September 2011, when my husband and I moved to Paris, things have been pretty upside down. Right is droite, top is haut and handshakes have become bisous - deux to be exact.

I left my independent, New York City life, my high-stress advertising job, and my three best friends. I left easy access to natural and whole foods. I left a state of being where I felt completely in control. Had I reached a point of self-actualization? No, but I wasn’t too far from it.

Maybe you’ve been in my position before – pick up your life – in my case because of my husband’s job – and move to a different country where you don’t speak the language. All I knew 18 months ago was bonjour! Looking back on our time here, life has transformed. Its not necessarily easier, but I’m beginning to find my niche. 

Think of your staple food. Now imagine moving to a country where it is nowhere in sight. You have two choices–give up the food or bring the food to you. I chose the latter. I was devastated to discover that kale was nearly impossible to find in France. Then I realized I was not the only person in Paris (or France for that matter) that also craves the Queen of leafy-greens. I decided that instead of complaining about the lack of kale, I would find a way to have kale in Paris. I launched The Kale Project.

This is my dynamic living: adapting to this foreign county by not letting the foreignness define my life. There are three concepts that have helped in this transition:

1. It’s OK To Take Your Time

Shopping for an easy weeknight dinner involves 15 specialty shops. Running an errand always takes over an hour. Returning something involves speaking and signing papers in five different places. Opening a bank account is impossible if you don’t have an electric account, but you can’t get an electric account unless you have a bank account. There are always lines for taxis because there aren’t many taxis. Service is slow, meals are slow, and winter takes forever to end.

Everything takes longer in France, which means you either learn to be patient right away or you might not make it. On the other hand, perhaps before when everything was happening so quickly and so much always had to be done, I was missing everything as it happened. While I still get frustrated at the way things move – or don’t move, I’m taking my time and taking in more of life.

2. It’s OK To Be Scared

I used to be scared about a presentation at work. All of a sudden, I was scared of walking outside my own front door. I did not know who or what I would encounter. I didn’t know what situation would I find myself where I couldn’t properly express myself. Then I realized that a situation would always appear frightening if I didn’t put myself in it.

I take the cheesy, Lululemon-bag motto to heart and do one thing everyday that scares me. Sometimes it’s a “big” thing and sometimes it’s a “small” thing. No matter the scope of the thing, it’s never as scary the second time around.

3. It’s OK To Be Yourself

Americans romanticize the French ideal. There is a way to dress, speak, and act just like the French. And of course before moving here I assumed I would try to assimilate as much as possible.

That was until I did move here. I wondered why everyone thinks the French ideal is the perfect ideal. I will always have an Anglo-accent when I speak. I want to wear eye makeup and a sparkly dress to dinner versus the too-cool, Boho skinny pants and ballet flats. Sometimes I enjoy carrying a to-go cup of coffee with me. And I don’t think bright lipstick always needs to be Chanel red! I also like to be optimistic and smile.

I’m a foreigner. As an American, I respect the French but I will never be French. Each day, I learn more about myself. I learn to be more patient, kind and open-minded. Each day I am more integrated into French life, but if I act like an American Gen Y woman and take out the garbage in my sweatpants every once in awhile, I’m OK with that.

-Kristen