why knowing where you are can change your life

tumblr_m5pluoy6Oz1rve1jto1_500Your worry, fear, and guilt are not signs of an existential crisis for you to suppress.

Be clear: your feelings are real, but not permanent. These feelings can be signs of more fundamental issues, i.e. unfulfillment in your job, insecurity in relationships,  discomfort with your body, etc.

When you face such obstacles head on, instead of avoiding them, you change your life.

Deciphering what needs work in the stages of development can begin this transformation. Yes, “stages of development” sounds a bit clinical, but seeing what you need to strengthen before taking a risk supports you to make profound changes.

where are you in the development cycle?

I’ll use the example of my recent career risk.  My job was creating tension in my body, manifesting as sickness, sadness, and anger towards myself and others. Taking the leap to quit included awareness of each of these stages.

1) Where are you now? What’s your mindset? Are you creating or limiting change? When you develop a strong daily practice of mind and body awareness, you have a firm foundation for growth.

  • Initially my thoughts were that because I went to school, worked hard, and got good grades then I must fit into this prescribed path. I let others tell me what I could do and who I should be. Before I quit, I had to discover such limiting thoughts and develop a strong meditation and yoga practice to support change. [There are many ways of cultivating awareness. These worked best for me.]

2) Where do you want to be? Discover what more is possible. Read, explore, get out of your comfort zone. Refine your vision—what do you want to change?

  • I created a vision of my future. Before I could take a risky leap, I explored what exactly would make me come alive. This included talking with life coaches, therapists, body workers, and other mind/body entrepreneurs about their wins and challenges.

This Dynamic Life-- risk3) How will you get there? What’s your action plan? Where can you make space in your schedule for this plan? Once you create positive habits for change you can re-create your life.

  • I created a step-by-step process to bring mine into reality. Step one was clearing out the space that my job occupied. Step two included reading inspiring literature daily and surrounding myself with people who believe in living their dreams. 

4) Are you making progress? Strengthen your accountability and self-awareness. You can develop strategies to help you reach new levels of growth. If you’ve made moves to better your life, learn how to celebrate your success.

  • I’m working hard everyday to develop my new business. Sometimes I feel like I’m not working hard enough. That’s when I need to step back and congratulate myself on the work I’ve done thus far. 

Working through obstacles can be frightening. Yet, when you know where you are in this cycle, you can equip yourself to take giant risks. If you’re nervous to work through this process alone or want a little support through one stage or another, don’t hesitate to reach out and seek help. You’re more than capable of taking risks and changing your life. Begin now.

the weekend nurture menu: the MOST significant shift

“I want to wallow in pain in order to learn life’s lessons,” said no one ever.

untitledRegardless of how evolved you are, who doesn’t want a quick fix for life’s woes? You hope that with the perfect job, perfect partner, more money, all of life’s troubles will melt away. Notice that this thinking is focusing on the outcome: what can I do/get to be happy instead of feeling happy now.

More so, this perspective doesn’t account for the energy projecting into the universe. If you’re just striving for an outcome to cure your troubles, you’re not going to attract authentic, healing growth. If you need to know the end goal, you’ll never know the positive change that manifests in the process.

body

For example, if you want a new job, thinking “I want to be a big-time yoga teacher, lawyer, or graphic designer,” the end goal may disappoint you. This perspective is about a quick fix, instead of how aspects of each field make you feel. A shift in perspective will attract the things you want, because its emerging from an internal healing instead of an external cure. Gabrielle Bernstein explains this shift best:

“Many people approach manifestation from a place of “How can I get something to feel better?” Instead, the focus should be: “How can I feel better and therefore be an energetic match for attracting more greatness into my life?”

This is the MOST important shift: from focusing on what what you want to get or what you want to do to focusing on how you want to feel.

Over the weekend, this concept knocked my socks off. I looked to all the things, foods, and people in my life that make me feel inspired, nurtured, and loved. I felt compelled to refocus my healthy feelings with healthy burgers…

wild mushroom and lentil burgers with cashew garlic cream
makes 6-8 patties

  • 1 cup beluga lentilsphoto (5)
  • 1 tbsp of coconut oil
  • 1 red onion, sliced (optional)
  • couple pinches sea salt
  • 2 cups mixed wild mushrooms, sliced (wood ear, shiitake, oyster, chanterelle…)
  • 5 cloves garlic, minced
  • 3 tbsp fresh rosemary
  • 1 tbsp fresh thyme
  • 2 tbsp tamari
  • ½ cup sunflower seeds
  • 15 kalamata olives
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 tbsp dijon mustard
  • freshly cracked black pepper
  1. Wash and drain lentils. In a medium saucepan, cover with 2 cups water, bring to a boil, cover, reduce to simmer and cook until tender (about 20-25 minutes). Remove lid off to cool and set aside. Drain if there is any water left.
  2. In a frying pan heat a knob of coconut oil. Add sliced onions, if using, and a pinch of salt. Cook until softened, about five minutes. Add garlic, rosemary and thyme. Cook for a few minutes, then add sliced mushrooms. Allow the mushrooms to cook without stirring for a few minutes so that they brown on one side. After five minutes, stir mushrooms and add tamari, stir to coat. When mushrooms are cooked, remove from heat and set aside.
  3. In a food processor grind sunflower seeds until they resemble breadcrumbs. Add cooked lentils, mushroom mixture, mustard, olive oil, and cracked black pepper. Pulse to blend. [You may need to stir once in a while. Avoid adding too much liquid – the mixture should be thick.]
  4. Pit and roughly chop olives. Add to the food processor and stir to combine.
  5. Form 6-8 balls with the mixture, slightly smaller than a baseball. Press to flatten into patties, but keep them thick. Press around the outside edge to prevent them from cracking.
  6. You can warm the burgers two ways: heat a knob of coconut oil and cook the burger on one side until golden, 4-6 minutes, then flip and cook on opposite side OR cook burgers in a 375°F/ 190°C oven for 15-20 minutes, flipping halfway through bake time. [Remember that they are already fully cooked, so all you need to do is heat them up.]
  7. Serve burgers open-faced on a slice of gluten-free or extra-grainy toast. Garnish with cashew garlic cream, avocado, and a pile of greens.

photo (7)cashew garlic cream

  • ½ cup raw cashews, soaked for at least 4 hours
  • ½ cup water
  • 1 clove garlic (start with just ½)
  • 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
  • 4 tsp fresh lemon juice
  • 2 tbsp chives
  • ½ tsp sea salt
  • Squirt honey or maple syrup
  1.  Soak cashews for at least 4 hours, up to 12. Drain and rinse.
  2. Add cashews to a food processor or blender, which ever is the most powerful. Add ½ clove garlic, all other ingredients and ¼ cup of water. Blend on high and add the remaining water in increments until the desired consistency is reached – not too thick, not too runny. Season to taste and add the other half clove of garlic if desired. [adapted from mynewroots.org]

Ask yourself: What can I start doing right now to bring more of this feeling into my life? Don’t worry about money or status that will emerge or what other people will think of you. If you’re acting from an inspired place, the money comes. When you feel how you want to feel, when you’re authentically you, people become inspired by you.

xo, S

the weekend nurture menu: resilience, napa-style

Normally my nurture menus are oriented towards prepping for the coming week. This menu takes an after-the-fact approach: resilience from a crushing week (or a few).

The word ‘resilience’ evokes an elastic, bouncy quality. Webster’s defines it as “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.” Not sure how you want to categorize studying for the bar exam–misfortune or change–either way, this intense event required adjustment and now requires recovery.

After something like the bar exam, a ridiculous work week, or a difficult life event, resilience means recovering the love of life you once had.

I am beyond privileged to revive that love of life with a jaunt on the west coast, starting in Napa. Thus, this menu combines food, lessons, and love to nurture a bounce-back to whole.

recipe for resilience
serves one directly and everyone you come into contact with indirectly

  • Unconditional love (Family–the related or the unrelated kind.)
  • Food (Not the fueling stuff we require, but the sparkling flavors and colors that remind you why the terms “foodie” and “food porn” exist.)
  • Physical activity (You must reconnect with your body awareness, especially if your job requires being in your head.)
  • Nature (Remind yourself of the big, beautiful, non-concrete world out there.)
  • Laugh, laugh, laugh (No explanation required.)
  • Things that make you feel alive (Different for everyone.)
  1. Begin with love, food, and fabulous accessories. This is my definition of unconditional love: my mother. Add in some delectable eats from French Blue.  Sprinkle in a fabulous hat, because, well, this is something that I love.
  2. Now dive deep into food exploration. Begin with colors and flavors from Farmstead Restaurant…Sorry to disappoint you if you thought I don’t eat meat or dairy. Generally, I don’t. I believe in health and feeling amazing. Simply put, when you’re faced with grilled peaches, ricotta crostini, prosciutto, and a drizzle of honey, you’d be silly not to feel amazing after a bite.Wood grilled jumbo artichoke with sauce gribiche and lemon… and you remember what living tastes like.
  3. Blend in physical activity, nature, and laughs. Yes, wine-country is perfect for this, but all of the above are accessible in your own backyard (even if your backyard is Lincoln Park!)Biking, yoga-ing, running, swimming… feel your body, feel your breath–just remember how to feel and not just think!Revive at adorable, outdoor restaurants where a sip of juice brings a smile to your face. Look at the juice bar’s vibrant carrot, orange, tumeric, ginger, and coconut milk juice and the berry antioxidant smoothie. I recommend indulging after being on a bike.Laugh more and keep your helmet on the whole time. Just kidding.And then pick grapes. Or, if you’re not in a vineyard, pick a piece of grass, smell the scents of your city, feel the breeze on your skin.
  4. Make sure that all the ingredients are well mixed. Garnish by letting go of the pressure you just experienced and relishing the love of life.
  5. Bon Appétit!

xo, S