the weekend nurture menu: the MOST significant shift

“I want to wallow in pain in order to learn life’s lessons,” said no one ever.

untitledRegardless of how evolved you are, who doesn’t want a quick fix for life’s woes? You hope that with the perfect job, perfect partner, more money, all of life’s troubles will melt away. Notice that this thinking is focusing on the outcome: what can I do/get to be happy instead of feeling happy now.

More so, this perspective doesn’t account for the energy projecting into the universe. If you’re just striving for an outcome to cure your troubles, you’re not going to attract authentic, healing growth. If you need to know the end goal, you’ll never know the positive change that manifests in the process.

body

For example, if you want a new job, thinking “I want to be a big-time yoga teacher, lawyer, or graphic designer,” the end goal may disappoint you. This perspective is about a quick fix, instead of how aspects of each field make you feel. A shift in perspective will attract the things you want, because its emerging from an internal healing instead of an external cure. Gabrielle Bernstein explains this shift best:

“Many people approach manifestation from a place of “How can I get something to feel better?” Instead, the focus should be: “How can I feel better and therefore be an energetic match for attracting more greatness into my life?”

This is the MOST important shift: from focusing on what what you want to get or what you want to do to focusing on how you want to feel.

Over the weekend, this concept knocked my socks off. I looked to all the things, foods, and people in my life that make me feel inspired, nurtured, and loved. I felt compelled to refocus my healthy feelings with healthy burgers…

wild mushroom and lentil burgers with cashew garlic cream
makes 6-8 patties

  • 1 cup beluga lentilsphoto (5)
  • 1 tbsp of coconut oil
  • 1 red onion, sliced (optional)
  • couple pinches sea salt
  • 2 cups mixed wild mushrooms, sliced (wood ear, shiitake, oyster, chanterelle…)
  • 5 cloves garlic, minced
  • 3 tbsp fresh rosemary
  • 1 tbsp fresh thyme
  • 2 tbsp tamari
  • ½ cup sunflower seeds
  • 15 kalamata olives
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 tbsp dijon mustard
  • freshly cracked black pepper
  1. Wash and drain lentils. In a medium saucepan, cover with 2 cups water, bring to a boil, cover, reduce to simmer and cook until tender (about 20-25 minutes). Remove lid off to cool and set aside. Drain if there is any water left.
  2. In a frying pan heat a knob of coconut oil. Add sliced onions, if using, and a pinch of salt. Cook until softened, about five minutes. Add garlic, rosemary and thyme. Cook for a few minutes, then add sliced mushrooms. Allow the mushrooms to cook without stirring for a few minutes so that they brown on one side. After five minutes, stir mushrooms and add tamari, stir to coat. When mushrooms are cooked, remove from heat and set aside.
  3. In a food processor grind sunflower seeds until they resemble breadcrumbs. Add cooked lentils, mushroom mixture, mustard, olive oil, and cracked black pepper. Pulse to blend. [You may need to stir once in a while. Avoid adding too much liquid – the mixture should be thick.]
  4. Pit and roughly chop olives. Add to the food processor and stir to combine.
  5. Form 6-8 balls with the mixture, slightly smaller than a baseball. Press to flatten into patties, but keep them thick. Press around the outside edge to prevent them from cracking.
  6. You can warm the burgers two ways: heat a knob of coconut oil and cook the burger on one side until golden, 4-6 minutes, then flip and cook on opposite side OR cook burgers in a 375°F/ 190°C oven for 15-20 minutes, flipping halfway through bake time. [Remember that they are already fully cooked, so all you need to do is heat them up.]
  7. Serve burgers open-faced on a slice of gluten-free or extra-grainy toast. Garnish with cashew garlic cream, avocado, and a pile of greens.

photo (7)cashew garlic cream

  • ½ cup raw cashews, soaked for at least 4 hours
  • ½ cup water
  • 1 clove garlic (start with just ½)
  • 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
  • 4 tsp fresh lemon juice
  • 2 tbsp chives
  • ½ tsp sea salt
  • Squirt honey or maple syrup
  1.  Soak cashews for at least 4 hours, up to 12. Drain and rinse.
  2. Add cashews to a food processor or blender, which ever is the most powerful. Add ½ clove garlic, all other ingredients and ¼ cup of water. Blend on high and add the remaining water in increments until the desired consistency is reached – not too thick, not too runny. Season to taste and add the other half clove of garlic if desired. [adapted from mynewroots.org]

Ask yourself: What can I start doing right now to bring more of this feeling into my life? Don’t worry about money or status that will emerge or what other people will think of you. If you’re acting from an inspired place, the money comes. When you feel how you want to feel, when you’re authentically you, people become inspired by you.

xo, S

embrace every new path: be a beginner again

What makes you feel alive and dynamic? Likely, its not the growing pains of being a beginner.

the beginning

At the beginning of something new, there can be an excitement. Then the learning curve crashes down. You realize how much you have to grasp for things to not feel like a whirlwind. Patience is frustrating–can’t I just be an expert already!?!

Or, maybe you’re forced into something new–you break up with a partner, move, lose your job– you must navigate the beginning of this new path.

Being a beginner can seem like you’re giving your energy into an abyss with no end in sight. You must be broken down until your mental and physical muscle-memory rebuilds.

Despite the hardship, isn’t this what we seek in being a dynamic, soulful human being– not feeling stagnant, experiencing movement and growth? In other words, being a beginner, as difficult as it can be, is essential to change.

growing pains of fear

Through this process, the ego, rules, social experience, worldly knowledge, and bad habits emerge to judge your growth. These are the growing pains–bundles of fear, fear of change, mistake, internal and external reproach. This mind stuff gets in the way of a joyful learning process.

A fundamental tenet of Buddhism is the beginner’s mind. The beginner’s mind signifies clearing out the years of ego, rules, social experience, worldly knowledge, and bad habits. It is the original mind, the one from before we were born. It allows us to learn without the resistance of fear.

Think of a child in such awe of the world, not afraid of falling, making mistakes and getting back up. Learning abounds. This beginner’s mind hasn’t learned how to let fear get in the way.

My 84-year-old grandma embodies this since she has taken up the study of Latin. Every mistake and hardship flows through her as she simply relishes learning. She is pretty impressive, right? Not because she never makes mistakes and already knows Latin. She is impressive because she has taken on something new despite her years of fear-training. She chooses to be fearless.

beginning again

There may be a point or two in this beginning phase where you want it to end. The challenge becomes too great and you just want things to be easy. That is where the true learning begins…

Observe your reactions. Learn compassion. Explore how to be dynamic.

When we seek out flawlessness, mind stuff gets in the way. The learning process stagnates. Focus on letting go of the mind stuff. Be a beginner again.

“You have to live spherically – in many directions. Never lose your childish enthusiasm – and things will come your way.”  ― Federico Fellini

choice and acceptance–It is what it is!

Everyday you make thousands of choices to define who you are–you go into the office, instead of flying to Maui, or you decide to read a book about politics, instead of watching “The Bachelor Pad”… you get the idea.

For every ‘yes’ you say to life–”Yes, I will go for a run”–you say ‘no’ to another path–”No, I will not sit on my couch and eat chips.” You have an overwhelming number of choices in how you can proceed. This can be scary or it can be liberating. The trick is to know when and how to let the other options go and accept your choice.

In some situations, we feel like we don’t have a choice, i.e. I want to quit my job, but how will I make money as a painter, or I’m in love with this guy, but he lives in Burma. While you can’t control other people’s choices, you can choose your next second–how will you move forward?

You always have a choice in how you live. Though pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

True, you cannot force someone to love you and you cannot force your dream job to hire you. Suffering occurs when you choose to force a result, hoping for what it could, should, or would have been. Yet, when you trust you and you trust the universe, you know that sometimes, “It is what it is.”

A couple of years ago, I went through a magical break-up. Don’t get me wrong, the break-up itself was a hot mess. I felt tremendous amounts of pain. We both wanted to force each other (and I want to force myself) to be people that we were not. The magical part was when I realized I had a choice in how I could respond. I could have seen the situation as a calamity, forcing and resisting the pain, thinking of how amazing it would have been if we’d stayed together. For moments, I did that.

jenniferandresen.com/

There were more moments, however, when something inside me saw the experience as a blessing. Every time a thought came up like, “We could have done/we could have been X, Y, and Z,” I chose to respond with, “Saren, it is what it is.” We chose to define ourselves with our past actions and who we are (right now, at least) does not align.

I said this: “I’m not sure what the future holds but I do know that I’m going to be positive and not wake up feeling desperate. As my dad said ‘Nic, it is what it is, it’s not what it should have been, not what it could have been, it is what it is’.”
—Nicole Kidman

You choose how you wake up in the morning. You choose who you’re going to be. You really can choose to leave this whole life behind you and go live on a beach somewhere. Likely, you haven’t made that choice in this moment. I’m not saying that you won’t make it tomorrow, but today accept the choice that you have made. How freeing is it to let go of the coulda’s, woulda’s, and shoulda’s and consciously choose to live this life?

To lament the choices you’ve made in the past or to suffer over what isn’t happening in the future, not only takes you out of the moment, but weighs this moment down.

You choose freedom when you accept this moment fully. It is what it is. You can take the next second to choose again.

“Although we have been made to believe that if we let go we will end up with nothing, life itself reveals again and again the opposite: that letting go is the path to real freedom.” -Sogyal Rinpoche