Tag Archives: stress

stress: a test of your character

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“If you don’t think life is funny, then you don’t get the joke.”

Getting stern, unfriendly, and cold when you’re stressed is a common pattern in human behavior. You get this feeling like no one knows how exceptionally important this task is right now and you need to convince everyone of it’s difficulty.

However, these difficult times are when character is most visible.

If you’re under a time crunch, how do you treat the barista at the coffee counter? When he/she asks you how you are, do you take that extra couple seconds (just a couple) to return the question AND listen for the answer?

Or are you outwardly appear grounded and cordial, but you know it’s just a front when you’re judging everyone (including yourself).

See this as a sign. An opportunity to step back and look at this situation in your lifespan from a bird’s eye view. Even if you look and say, “This is the most important [fill in the stressor] of my life,” does that mean you have to be tightly wound to get it done?

Compare a ballerina and the energizer bunny. The dancer is working unbelievably hard, every muscle of her body in action, yet she does it with grace. The energizer bunny just looks ridiculous and isn’t getting very far.

Are you acting like the energizer bunny or the dancer? If it’s the bunny, find the humor in your behavior. Get some perspective and see that this situation–not the actual act, but your character in performing it–is the true challenge.

Smile. This is your life. Live it with humor and grace.

the cure for uncomfortable feelings

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If you’re reading this, my guess is that you like words. You like to think–to analyze. Western society urges prioritizing the musings of the mind over the feelings of the body. Indeed, thinking is incredibly useful to survive in a capitalist society. What happens though when a feeling comes up, like stress, hurt, sadness, or loneliness? Do you try to think your way out of it?

A thought may come up, “why can’t I make this feeling go away!?!?” An answer could be that you haven’t felt it. You’re trying to think your way out of it.

“The best way out is always through.” –Robert Frost

We try to go around the feelings by avoidance, escape, and resistance. Frost distills the idea that if you really want “out,” avoidance, escape, and resistance won’t work–at least not long term. You have to move “through”–you have to feel it.

Often we’ll say to ourselves, “I can’t feel ____. I must stop feeling it.” It’s like if you continually tell yourself to stop thinking about the color blue… you’re going to think about the color blue.

I believe that much of the Western world is turning to yoga for this very reason: to feel. We tend to be so disconnected from our bodies that we think the mind can get us out of the discomfort. Yoga asks you to dissolve the mind/body dichotomy–to go inward–to see that feelings cannot be resolved by the mind.

In fact, when you avoid, escape, or resist, you’re likely missing a very important lesson that your body is trying to teach you. This is often called “intuition” or your “gut.” Your gut feelings, your intuition, does not function in words. It requires you to feel.

So today, I challenge you to feel.

Easier said than done, right? Not necessarily. Feeling is simply breathing and welcoming the body’s reactions. Suffering and long term discomfort occur when we RESIST the feelings. We create stories (words and thoughts) around the pain, instead of allowing the feeling to arise and process.

For the expert thinkers out there, I will break it into steps:

  1. A feeling arises.
  2. Pause and notice it.
  3. Welcome it. Actually say to yourself, “I allow this feeling to come up.”
  4. Watch the feeling, bringing breath into it.
  5. Notice the story that you try to create around it.
  6. Imagine the sensations dissolving with breath.
  7. Sit and watch the feeling as long as you can.

As you move through you day, try this. Start small. Feel your clothes on your skin, feel your feet on the ground, feel water going down your throat.

Then notice the bigger feelings come up. Stress, for example, has the ability to make you work harder and escape. What if you just took a moment (just a moment) to be with it? Acknowledge that you’re completely capable of handling your work and if you’re not, then change it. Stress is merely a feeling.

In this thinking society, this is the cure for uncomfortable feelings: go inward, not outward. Feel, don’t think. Reawaken your intuition. Be your own teacher.