Tag Archives: voice

take your own advice: connect with your inner guide

Posted on by

0

When something in your life is off balance and you need guidance, who or what do you turn to? What if you can connect to yourself so that you always know how to find the answer to any life question?

Your magnificent inner guide…

Believe or not, we’re all wise. We all have this great depth of knowledge that speaks to every question we wish to answer. My truth may be different from your truth, but it is truth nonetheless.

Too often, though, the ego–the fear–drowns out truth. Fear can be so loud that we reach out externally–to others, to jobs, to substances, to facebook–to give us the wisdom that we seek. Because externals can’t give us the answers we need for self-love, resentment, self-hate, and doubt manifest.

For example, I used to berate myself when I didn’t enjoy going to crowded bars. For too long, I thought there was something wrong with me. I kept trying to change into someone else and listen to others advice. It was making them happy, why didn’t it work for me?

“When you’re trying to make something happen, you’re communicating with your ego. Your [inner guide] won’t ask you to change anything on the outside. Instead it will guide you to change your mind.” -Gabrielle Bernstein

Indeed, my inner guide was there the whole time just waiting to be heard. I was seeking some sort of external answer when really the only thing I needed was to listen internally.

I’m referring to the nagging voice deep down, the gut, the intuition, that is telling you something is off–that there is something more. That voice inside me was screaming!

When you can’t decipher between what your inner guide is saying and what your head is saying, the inner guide is likely the less popular, more uncomfortable choice.

How can you connect to your inner guide?

Begin by knowing that you have an inner guide. Notice times in your life when you feel at peace, when something feels wrong, when foods make you feel good. In others words, feel. We have a tendency to run from too much sensation, so if you struggle with this, start small. Feel the clothes you’re wearing. Feel the air on your skin. Try to get in touch with your body.

When you begin to connect with your reactions, move forward with the communication.

I recently began a daily practice of prayer, talking to my inner guide, and meditation, listening for the answer, inspired by Gabrielle Bernstein…

She recommends asking your inner guide, “Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say? And to whom? ” I like to tack on the question, “How would you have me live?”

Then I do a 5-10 minute meditation. On the inhale, I say “I welcome guidance.” On the exhale, I say, “I will receive guidance.” The prayer is putting energy into the universe that I am going to trust myself. The meditation is surrendering to my inner guide.

Every answer is inside of you. When you connect with your inner guide, you will discover that.

raise the quality of your life: how to look uncertainty in the face

Posted on by

1

i keep climbing. yangshuo, china

Listen closely for this quote. It may be the most important thing you read today…

“The quality of your life is directly proportional to the amount of uncertainty that you can comfortably deal with.” -Tony Robbins

How is the quality of your life related to facing fear and uncertainty?

Every time you get out of bed in the morning, you risk. You could stub your toe, trip, spill the milk, who knows? I say this not to scare you; rather, to show you that you can worry A LOT if you so choose.

Most of us manage these fears. Thankfully, you no longer need your hand held crossing the street–you’ve learned to trust yourself and the universe enough to traverse cities.

Thus, the context of uncertainty changes.

As we grow and explore, we face more and more uncertainty. Even following an American dream (a path well traveled)–having children, applying for advance degrees, taking challenging tests, proposing marriage, starting businesses–is fraught with fear. We risk judgment, criticism, failure, loss, sadness, loneliness, challenging fear as much as comfort levels can handle, choosing to risk more or less based on how we can handle those fears.

The quality of your life increases exponentially based on this risk. If you only get out of bed and go to the kitchen, your anxiety level will stay level and your potential for growth will not rise. In contrast, if you get out of bed and go across the world–not only physically, but mentally, traversing your soul–the quality of your life rises.

If you get the value of uncertainty, how can it be not only tolerable, but inspiring?

First, trust yourself.

Look at how far you’ve come! Each of us have conquered hills in life.

There was a point you wouldn’t have been able to read this blog post! To read, you had to learn and fail and try again.

When I was little, I trusted myself tremendously. I walked with my head held high, my shoulders back, without doubting my words. Then high school, rejection, and failure happened. For years, the fear of repeating painful experiences paralyzed me to the point of silence. With travel, yoga, and a choice to trust myself, I learned to look fear in the face.

I have recovered my voice. Not only do I write verbose blog posts, I teach yoga classes to rooms of 60 people with my head held high, my shoulders back, without doubting my words. I trust myself because I have failed, looked fear in the face, and dared to try again.

Though I may not know you, I know you have overcome some kind of difficulty. If at the time you experienced worry, fear, or doubt, it doesn’t matter how big or little the feat, you did it. You overcame fear once. Trust that you can do it again and again.

Second, trust the universe.

The universe is going to unfold as it will. I go back to my original point: unless you choose never to leave your bed, there is no amount of planning, worry, and anxiety that will avoid the things you cannot control.

We think that by trying to control life, i.e. “playing it safe,” we somehow avoid pain. This simply isn’t true. If you don’t live your dreams, leave the house, try something new, are you going to LOVE life? Are you even living life or just existing?

I’m not saying to just “tolerate ambiguity,” which sounds like uncertainty is to be suffered and endured. I’m saying we need to “embrace the unknown”–invite and engage uncertainty as a source of opportunity!

Embracing uncertainty, we LIVE life rather than exist! And the extraordinary is possible…

“Snuffing out uncertainty leads to a sea of prematurely terminated mediocre output, when the ‘sweet mother of God’ breakthrough was just over the hump if only we’d had the will to embrace uncertainty, risk, and judgment and hang on a bit longer. If only we’d learn how to harness and ride rather than hunt and kill the butterflies that live in the gut of every person who strives to create something extraordinary from nothing.” -Jonathan Fields, Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance

get the negative voice out of your head and find you

Posted on by

3

You know that negative voice in your head? The one that says things like “You’re not  ___ (fill in: smart, pretty, accomplished, etc.).” Maybe it says, “You’ll never find a partner,” “Your too needy,” or “you’re not meant to be one of the happy ones.” Conversely, it could say, “You’re obviously the best ___ here.”

Any and all of the variations on these statements are false. They’re the ego, or the negative voice, rearing its ugly head.

The word “ego” does not necessarily mean arrogant or egotistical. Arrogant statements, like the demeaning manifestations of the voice, take you out of the present moment. The statements separate and compare you to others, hoping to find some false sense of superiority or inferiority.

Fact: you are not “better” or “worse” than anyone. You have just as much of a right to happiness as any person you know. (Even if the ego is telling you that you don’t!)

Why does your ego like to tell you otherwise?

Simply, your ego is afraid of death. This voice is so incredibly fearful of obliteration that it likes to take situations to the extreme. Fear of death is what drives the ego and if there is a chance that it could be destroyed out there in the world, it will give you a reason not to try.

YOU, however, are not that voice. You are not separate or comparable to anyone. You are capable of so much, despite what the ego is telling you. When you quiet this voice, you can discover the miraculous you.

Can you show this ego that risk and death are not to be feared?

In the The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle says it best:

“The secret to life is to “die before you die”– and find that there is no death.”

Essentially, refuse to give the ego power. Move forward. Risk. Challenge your fear of death and prove that not being the __ (fill in: smartest, prettiest, most accomplished, etc.), doesn’t actually kill you. Let the ego die and realize that there is no death.

Lovely concept, right? But how do you get the thoughts out of your head?

Well, I envision my ego as a gnome on my shoulder. Yes, a garden gnome. This has nothing to do with religious, spiritual, or cultural upbringing. Envisioning my ego as a gnome is personal. You can laugh at my gnome. I laugh at my gnome. That is the point.

I have ridiculous thoughts come up too (everyone does!). The difference in people is how much power each person gives to the thoughts. I choose to see my ego as a silly gnome, because I want to laugh at these ridiculous thoughts and take away their power.

True story, I actually heard my ego say that I’m fat. I give you this example because, factually, there couldn’t be anything further from the truth. I’ve been blessed with skinny genes and an intense love of yoga and health food. Nevertheless, sometimes my ego likes to tell me this is true. I imagine the gnome on my shoulder speaking this nonsense and I laugh at the little man.

When you choose not to identify with these ideas, even take them out of your head and see them as a gnome on your shoulder, you can see how ridiculous they are.

Moral of the story: these statements are not true. YOU are the awesomeness underneath the voice. Practice getting the voice out of your head and find that awesomeness.